I was very nervous today!! Abel picked us up at the guest house, and we went to Mussie Orphanage with Cara Jo and Scott to meet our children for the first time. We drove up in the van, and they pulled inside the giant metal gate.
Mike and I were told to wait in the van while Cara Jo and Scott met their child Dinkenesh first, since there was only one camera man. (Yes - camera man. Nothing says "add a little stress to meeting your child for the first time" like having a camera man in your face capturing it in video history!!) I could hear Dinkenesh crying all the way in the van. There was a little metal building next to the orphanage building where I could hear kids talking and singing, and Abel said that's where Birtukan was at. My heart about jumped out of my chest!! The camera man and Abel went over, and started video taping Birtukan, but we still couldn't see her. Then someone came out of the building holding a small child wrapped in a blanket, that I assumed was her - hiding your face so we couldn't see her yet.VIDEO: Children From Orphanage Singing
They told us then to come into the room where the other family was meeting their daughter. I was excited and nervous to finally see Birtukan, a ton of mixed emotions! Then we saw her - standing against the wall with huge eyes, right next to screaming little Dinkenesh. She looked so scared and confused, it broke my heart. I started crying, because I just wanted her to feel safe and happy. Then we were left alone in the room with her, along with the other family. What was I supposed to do?? She refused to make eye contact, or talk, or even cry. Giant tears fell from her eyes as she pulled away from every attempt of a touch. Yet I am her mother - I didn't FEEL like her mother, and she certainly didn't view me as her mother. How was I supposed to comfort her? And my tears started again. "I'm not ready for this," I thought over and over in my head. But there we were, in Ethiopia, alone in a small room with our legally recognized daughter who wanted nothing to do with us.
We were encouraged to pick you up, by the camera man. I didn't know how much of this encouragement was healthy bonding ideas, or how much was "to get a good shot" for the video. I didn't want to do anything to push her farther away from us. I reached out to pick her up, and she went limp in my arms. Not a cry or a scream - she just went limp, turned her head away from me, and let the giant tears fall silently. I laid her head down on my shoulder so she could look away from me, yet still let someone physically comfort her. We carried her back to the van along with the other family there, and headed back to the guest house. Within 30 seconds, she was asleep in my arms.
She woke up once we got out the van and went inside the guest house. We took her straight to our room for some quiet time, but she was still lethargic and silent with giant tears. I held her on my lap as she started to make sounds and it was the first time I had heard her voice as she started crying out loud. That's when I felt my lap become soaked. And realized she wasn't wearing a diaper. Already having two children at home, it never crossed my mind that she would need to go to the bathroom! Not that I even had any clue that she was potty trained yet, we didn't get any of that info about her. I ran her to the toilet, where she finished going to the bathroom and had absolutely explosive diarrhea. Once she was done, I cleaned her up and changed her clothes. That's when she looked straight in my eyes and Mike's eyes and smiled! Eye contact, and giggles!! We got out her little Bumble Bee cabbage patch doll and she was mesmerized by the tags on it. She was afraid of Mike and wouldn't let him near her, but she let me hold her and play with her and had lots of laughs!
They made spaghetti for lunch, but she refused to eat. Mimi from the guest house helped a lot, and she would finally eat for her. After lunch, she played with Edu (Birtukan Sinshaw's youngest son) It was really neat seeing them run around and speak Amharic to each other, and laugh, and giggle! We had coffee and popcorn, and she actually let me feed her popcorn! She even let Mike hold her one time today, which was a great breakthrough! She was making eye contact with both of us.
She fell asleep very early (Maybe 3:30pm or 4pm!?) so we laid her down in the crib. I tried to wake her up for dinner, but I couldn't physically wake her!! We carried her downstairs and put her on the couch, still asleep. Then we gave up and brought her back up to bed - still sound asleep. She slept through the night, until about 6am without waking up!!
Two other families came late at night - we went up to meet Matt and Angie Rolfsen but were half asleep when the other family arrived later that night.VIDEO: Birtukan's First Day At The Guest House
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