Adoption Doesn't Equal Warm Fuzzies

I'm cutting/pasting this from someone just because I think it gives a good perspective of some of the pains associated with adoption. Adoption is good - but it's also bad. Painful. Sometimes totally unnecessary. And people grieve.

I say this all the time that I am a reader and not a poster. Often because I am just HORRIBLE with words and expression. I'm coming into this at an entirely different perspective as I have not yet adopted. But please don't discredit my words yet.

I think the questions often lie in should we find joy in anothers loss so easily. I haven't adopted yet. I'm waiting for that day to create a family for a child. Because this is the road God has brought me down - I'm not "infertile." Years ago I had a heart transplant. Ironically - I've experienced the heartache of another family so that mine could find joy. Every day, I wake up and live life with joy - but I do it with the constant reminder that not only did someone have to die so that I could do that, but that someone else's family grieves. My family even celebrates my transplant day as a second birthday - but on that day we spend time praying and even crying for the family who lost. Though I haven't experienced adoption yet, I think adoption is the same way. A family loses a lot, a mom makes an adoption plan and will grieve for that for a long time - no matter what the relationship looks like with the a-family. It's absolutely not a fair thing. It's forever going to be an emotional journey to walk a life where you are gaining joy from someone else's burdens and loss. I think it's important for us to to be joyful in the journeys God's given us and taken us down, all the same remember the suffering that got us there. Whether its through adoption, a heart transplant, or the very life that was given so we could have salvation. We shouldn't forget the ache that it took to get there and the ache that will forever be. It's all important.
Adoption is not fun in the sense that someone wins and someone loses. It's not fun that little ones will have to wake up and learn that hey, you aren't my biological mom and dad - ok it probably won't go just like that... but hey... you get what I'm saying. It's a lot of emotions. For both sides.