Home Two Weeks

Birtukan's Two Pictures At Referral 1-4-2010

We've been home for a little over two weeks now. WOW, time has flown! Things during that time have gotten both better and worse. Birtukan is adjusting really well to being here, a lot better than I thought! Sleeping has gotten worse with her over time, and she has become to the queen of stalling at bedtime. "Mommy, kaka! Shint! Birtukan potty!!" Ummm, nice try Birtukan, but you just sat on the potty three times and you're fine. My new rule is that at bedtime, Birtukan isn't allowed to use the toddler potty seat cushion - she needs to sit straight on the toilet and hold herself up (which she is more than capable of doing) to make things not as comfortable for the whole bedtime stalling. This really helped last night, but she was upset that she didn't get her cushion.

I've also noticed that she's crying a lot more at bedtime now than she was before, and I think a lot of this is her processing her grief. I'm trying to do my best holding her, rocking her, rubbing her back, etc at bedtime - but honestly, it's really difficult to do at times. I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I'm worn out, and I'm trying to calm down and comfort Birtukan while having Maddie running around the house screaming. Not really conducive to a quiet bedtime routine. But we're doing the best we can, and I guess that's all I can ask for right now.

Maddie is still having a really hard time adjusting to everything. It's hard to tell what's just her normal difficult personality, and what's because of having a new sister. I'm trying to keep things calm around the house for her and be extra patient - even during times that normally she would get in trouble for. I'm trying to spread the grace. But with the spreading of the grace, my sanity is being worn extremely thin.

Do not yell. Be slow to anger. Do not lose your temper. Do not raise your voice. Take a second to breathe before responding. Be patient. Do not discipline from anger, but rather in a productive way to mold the heart of your child. All of these things are great in theory, and things I am really trying to implement. Not always successfully, but I'm trying.

I remember being so excited to get Birtukan's Video Lifebook from the orphanage, and being able to see more about her birth family and village, and life before we met her. The video is sitting on our computer desk, starting right at me as I'm typing this. The same video that I would have given my left leg to watch, just a month ago. The same video that right now, I don't even want to open and watch. The second I get some quiet time during the day, the last thing I want to do is bring out something really emotional. I have no more emotions to give at the end of the day right now.

Hopefully this too shall pass...

Birtukan's Picture 5-30-2010; Home For 2 Weeks